Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm really hungry.

I don't think I realized how hungry my soul is, or how dry it is living in this place, until this week. A visit from an unmet-before-but-now-sister new friend on Wednesday, who shares my heart and hunger for Jesus and leading people into His presence, who prayed for my life with love and insight and blessing, though she'd only known me an hour... awoke tears in me, from some deep unwatered place.

Finally getting to a fast internet connection this morning for the first time in a couple weeks, catching up on dearly beloved friend's blogs (whose links I don't even know how to post here because I don't even have the time to really figure out how blogging works or make the most of it), trying to grasp the quantity of changes that have taken place since I last saw many of you face to face...

Reading Ann Voskamp's Holy Experience blog, trying to grasp how a woman with six kids who homeschools has time to take such incredible photographs and craft such pithy poetry, and make her blog look absolutely fantastic... and in the midst of it all still following Jesus and spending time with Him...

...and the tears welled up again, and I had to come and just write down for you all how hungry I am. Hungry to be fed with all these incredible online resources that I just don't have access too... hungry for good music, but don't even have the time to go on iTunes and listen to snippets (each of which takes 10 minutes to buffer and comes across in 3 second bits so I don't even get the song flow anyway)... starving for time to read good books, feed my mind, feed my soul...

ok, this is a pity party.

Things I'm thankful for:

1000. That I have beautiful friends like Mary McCulloch and Jill Kasowski living on opposite sides of the world, learning similar things at similar times, blogging about the same blog (Holy Experience)... and the thrill to know we have all eternity to spend with Jesus and each other.

999. That I have a husband who loves me

998. That I have two adorable sons, the eldest of whom just came in with three croquet balls he found goodness knows where, and said, blue eyes from under his blue cap, "Roll with me, Mommy!"

997. That the youngest is peacefully sleeping in the other room with his little thumb in his mouth.

996. That I found others who want to count abundance too, and who want to do it together.

995. That I am SAVED BY GRACE, and that not of myself, it is the gift of God through Jesus Christ, my Lord, who IS feeding me, daily, with Himself.

994. That I am young, and I still have time to learn how to blog beautifully.

993. That we get to live in this most interesting, fascinating, compelling place, among interesting compelling people, and have fulfilling work that makes me want to get up in the morning.

992. That we have the privilege of carrying the precious Gospel inside our clay bodies, and the gift of words to communicate it.

991. That I have a computer with which to type

990. fingers and hands to type with

989. the Internet to use

987. and people who love our family enough to read this blog.

986. That the sun is shining today

985. and I planted all my little flower seedlings yesterday

984. and only a few of them died,

983. which means I might be not so bad at gardening after all!

982. That Ann Voskamp came up (or maybe is just passing on, I'm not sure) this beautiful way to stay praising: a gratitude community who writes down 1000 gifts of God we're grateful for, and blogs (or journals) about how it changes our life...

981. That I have a heart and a soul that was made to praise and worship God, and He Himself deigns to call forth praise from me towards Himself every day!

980. That I have a mouth that can speak His praise out.

Please help me, Lord, to praise regardless, even when the blog doesn't work, even when I can't get online, can't get connected to people I love, can't post pictures of my sweet boys-- I HAVE them to love and enjoy every day, and I am so rich.



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